My observation: The worst whiners in the sky are the frequent flyers.
There’s something about flying in first class that makes one’s inner preschooler (I want, I want, I want!) and inner celebrity (Do you know who I am?) manifest themselves, such that even the most taciturn, kind-looking gentleman could become a whiny brat when the plane reaches cruising altitude. I don’t want to give the false impression that everyone sitting in the front of the plane is like this, but I have seen this sort of behavior many, many times to the point that it deserves some commentary.
You see such asshattery a lot during meal service. These days, most airlines board just enough meals to cover a full first/business class cabin, with finite numbers of each selection available. Getting your choice of entrée is rarely an issue if the cabin is not full, but if the cabin is full then there’s the high chance of the popular choice running out, leaving the flight attendants with the precarious position of denying the first choice to some people.
On United, flight attendants sort meals by status and fare paid. The official protocol is to have flight attendants ask what passengers’ first and second choices are, after which they sort out who gets what in the galley. Global Services (members of UA’s VIP program) get their choice first, followed by full-fare ticket holders and 1Ks, then down the status pecking order until they get to the non-revs.
I was once on a flight from ORD to BOS: it was on a 737 (with only 8 seats in First), and on a Thursday night, which tends to be a high traffic time for business travelers. The two meal choices were either a salad topped with shrimp or a hot pastrami sandwich. I had the misfortune of sitting next to a Global Services member, who threw a fit at the flight attendant because his first choice (the salad) had run out. After playing the DYKWIA card, the flight attendant actually had to show the man the manifest, essentially telling him that there were four other GS members ahead of him in the pecking order. The guy refused the sandwich and sulked the rest of the flight. (Relax, old man. I’m just a lowly 1K and I didn’t get my first choice either.)
I’m especially amused when I see people simply not give a second option, playing the DYKWIA card from the get-go, and basically telling the FA “Give me the shrimp salad or give me death.” In many cases, these passengers don’t get their choice, after which they revert to preschooler mode and pout the rest of the flight. (Perhaps after the flight they could write the airline and get a $200 e-cert.)
To be honest, I’ve been guilty of similar behavior, particularly when I was a newly minted 1K and I thought I was king of the world. Then it dawned on me that it’s really not worth crying over what is essentially reheated food. Nowadays, I just let the flight attendant know that if anyone makes a scene, they’re welcome to take my first choice. (Unless, of course, the second choice is something I simply can’t stomach.) I’ve also been experimenting with pre-ordering special meals. This has led to interesting results, like me getting a Kosher meal even though I’m not Jewish and I’m the biggest bacon fan in the world (the Kosher breakfast, by the way, is terrible).
Still, the issue of food choice seems to rank pretty high on traveler’s minds. American Airlines uses a FEBO system (front even, back odd), in which meal choices are taken from the front in even-numbered flights and vice-versa. So in the days approaching the flight you see lopsided seat maps with people selecting seats as close to the front (or back) as possible to ensure they get their first choice.
What I’d really love to see, though, is a means to preselect meals. This could be done online up to 24 hours before the flight, and could give the caterers a more accurate count of what meals should be boarded onto the planes. I doubt this would ever happen on a US-based carrier, given the costs of implementing this sort of IT system, and given the number of last minute ticket buyers and upgraders, but it would be nice. I will say that Singapore Airlines does this with their “Book the Cook” program on some of their international flights, and it works quite well. And I do recommend their lobster thermidor.
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